You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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