I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Alive.
So much puke
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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