He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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