that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
