Small penises have feelings too.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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