O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
