I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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