Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
