Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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