it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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