I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
