i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
