the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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