i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
