You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
