Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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