i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
