shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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