Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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