I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know her cup size but not her name....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
