I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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