isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
