Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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