wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
