I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
