I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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