apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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