if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize