He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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