dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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