I want to walk on stilts...naked
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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