Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
