Small penises have feelings too.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is Oprah even human
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize