Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
