His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How naked do you want me to be?
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