Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
