Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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