I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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