who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
