problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
