I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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