An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
