85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
