Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
