just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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