the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
