Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Randomize
