Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
