mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
