she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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