Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
