If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
