WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
