I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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