worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
