she was so not down for the gang bang
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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