I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
