I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
