Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
