the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
