you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
