She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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