I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
