If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
