I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
bring money and cleavage
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
