Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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