can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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