i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
