I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
