it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
