i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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