So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
