I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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