What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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