If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize