New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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