Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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