he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
