She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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