Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
