I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
