we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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